Musician. Artist. Web.

Fatal Vixxxen Interview

Site: Fatal Vixxxen
URL: fatalvixxxen.com
Date: June 2004

|||BIO|||
Hello, my name is Rev. Vain Jayne and I hate writing bios but I will try my best to give you some insight as to where I am coming from and where I have been. I am the very proud wife of Michael Devious, wed 1999. I am a minister, the minister liaison, and a member of the board of the Church of Body Modification. I am the professional Master Piercer of Urban Dรฉcor, established 1995. I provide vocals and lead guitar for my band Sijjin (formerly known as the She-Devils). And I also occasionally perform with the Industrial Primitives Suspension Group.

I am heavily into paranormal investigation leading me to going out on ghost hunts and documenting my finds on film. I am also heavily involved in body modification/manipulation, and ritual. I have 35% tattoo coverage and 41 current piercings. I have suspended, partaken in flesh pulls, glasswalking, rebar bending, arrow breaking, firewalking, and trepanation. I have been a model since I was 15, a published poet and artist, a web designer, and I own and host several websites including an anti-child abuse listing called Fetal Heart. In 2002 my band established the genre ‘Cuntcore’ and was published in the Midwest Music Directory. I am an animal activist – not to be mistaken for a fanatic. I am heavily into spirituality including excerpts from Christianity, LaVeyism, Hinduism, and Buddhism.

I have 3 pets: 1 Pitbull (rescued) named Kiyoshi, a Miniature Bear Coat Shar Pei (rescued) named Fuji Ama, and a Tarrantula I raised from a hatchling named Lylith. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, Chronic Panic Disorder, and Depression as a result of my childhood. I am a very loud person. I hate politics. I am fiercly passionate and brutally honest, and I have a great ability to laugh at the small things.

|||SITES|||
Vain Jayne
http://www.vainjayne.com
Personal site.
the Sancโ€ uary
http://thesanctuary.sijjin.com
Confess… A forum.
Sijjin
http://www.sijjin.com
My band I provide vocals + lead guitar. Free Mp3s!!
Urban Decor
http://urbandecor.sijjin.com
Online piercing portfolio. Est. 1996
Hateโ€ Flesh
http://www.hateflesh.com
Website collective + directory.
Fetal Heart
http://www.fetalheart.sijjin.com
An anti-child abuse listing.
.:.VAIN.:.
http://www.vainjayne.com/exchange
A Button Rotation

|||HOSTING|||
The Vain Jayne Fanlisting
http://www.vainjayne.com/fan
Honoring the music, writings, and works of Vain Jayne.
Voodoo Dollhouse
http://www.voodoo-dollhouse.com
Dark + Volupt Pin Ups
Absynthe
http://absynthe.sijjin.com
A personal site.

|||THE INTERVIEW|||
Q: Name the top 5 goals you would like to accomplish and/or have accomplishe in your life?
A: Accomplishments….my marriage, my band, my piercing career, web design, minister of the C.o.B.M.
Goals….finish a tattoo project, reach a happy medium with my self-perception, to be able to look back and say I had fun when it’s all said and done, to be spiritually fulfilled, to overcome my mental disarray.

Q: What are the 5 most important characteristics and/or values to you?
A: honesty, common sense, humility, charisma, morals.

Q: How would you best describe your character?
A: Greatly misunderstood.

Q: Choose three traits you least like in someone?
A: Manipulation, pity me attitude, stubborness.

Q: Do you believe in the death penalty?
A: Absolutely. I believe it to be a fucking disgrace to the victim and the victim’s families that these murderers, rapists, pedophiles live off of theirs and our tax dollars to be supported in a cozy little room while taking college classes and making money from writing books and so on. No one hesitates to put a misbehaved dog down, what’s the fuckin difference. Personally I believe the dog stands more of a chance for rehabilitation.

Q: Do many people misjudge you due to your tattoos/modifications?
A: Oh my, what a fun question. ๐Ÿ™‚ I never knew what a restrictive society we truly live in until I obtained my 1st “alternative” piercing and began getting tattooed. Even the clothes I choose to wear and my car gain constant negative attention. Some people will read this and think, “Awe, you stupid bitch dress and act like a normal person and quit feeling sorry for yourself already”. I have news for them, I AM a normal person whatever the fuck “normal” means. People are ignorant and they are terrified of anything they do not understand.
There are so many misconceptions and unjust prejudices directed at the modified society. It’s very difficult to maintain my cool a lot of the times when people react negatively towards me. I’ve gotten a lot better about though over the years and it’s great fun to insult someone without them catching it until you walk away if they catch it at all. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I could write a whole novel based on the questions I get on a daily basis, the most popular ones being below:

“I thought Halloween was over.” – says the obese hick unbathed in a pair of stained bib overalls.

In the city I live in I swear the hicks get together for their Hick of the Month meeting and come up with what they consider to be witty little gestures.

“Did you fall into a tackle box?” – says the dirty tattoo artist.

No, but it so looks as if you fell into a bucket of dirty needles!! The best one I ever came up with when asked that was, “no, but you look like a test pattern for Sailor Jerry.” (Sailor Jerry is an ancient tattoo artist.)

“How do you get through a metal detector?” – says the moron.

If I must tell, metal detectors are set up these days to where a certain amount or kind of metal sets it off.
I did have one issue at a courthouse before the censors were updated. I had emptied everything from my pockets and the cop ran the smaller detector over me and it seemed to go crazy when he hit my chest area. I told him there’s metal there, however I don’t think you’d want to see it under these circumstances. ๐Ÿ™‚

“Did that hurt?” – says the one without common sense.

What an ultimately fucking ignorant question, of course it hurt!! But what is pain ultimately?? It is a simple impulse in the brain and it’s up to you how you interpret it.

“Modified people are thieves!” – says the thief!!

We are the ones that the security guards are on alert for the instant we walk in to an establishment to shop. Walmart is the absolute worst at this. If people had any idea what real art costs to get on your body I believe they’d rethink their prejudice. I have over $3,000.00 worth of modification on my face and in my mouth alone!! What vanity these people have to assume that I would steal something as petty as a Martha Stewart lamp!!

“Modified people are dirty!” – says the guilty party who failed to bathe that week.

With 43 piercings and 35% of tattoo coverage how could one be unhygenic?? You’re talking open sores here, there’s no way you could heal yourself and live to talk about it if this were the case.

“You’re making my face hurt.” – says the idiot.

Yeah?? Your’s isn’t doing a hell of alot for me.

“What else you got pierced?” – says the dirty pervert in the Walmart checkout line.

Yup, mmmhmm. I don’t think so.

“What are you doing??” – says the nosey pig.

Hmm, better yet don’t you have a date with a donut??

Basically if you don’t understand it ask questions, or you may be missing out on knowing some of the most awesome and enlightened individuals on this earth. Mods are no better than non-mods, and visa versa. Educate youself.

Q: Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
A: Wherever my whims may take me, hopefully Amsterdam or Ontario. I can’t even see myself 10 days from now let alone 10 years. lol

Q: Out of all your collectives, which site is your favorite & why?
A: I’d have to say the Sanctuary because I get to meet and talk with so many beautiful faces there.

Q: What got you interested in web design?
A: Waiting, begging and pleading for my husband to make me one!! I waited a year…come on!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Q: Do you allow many people to get close to you or are you cautious about who you let into your personal life?
A: I used to be a lot more open to being social and giving someone a place to stay, but after my experiences I hold very few dear to me and allow even fewer to actually get personal.

Q: Are you frequently bothered by online stalkers?
A: I generally have 2 instances a year. Usually it’s over a stolen image, but every now and then I run into a doppleganger. Those I find to be more intimidating than some little shit-talking bitch. To steal someone’s identity just really is something that I don’t believe I will ever understand. In my journal archives I have a conversation logged from when I messaged my very 1st doppleganger. It was interesting yet scary at the same time. The gurl had my entire bio memorized and what she didn’t take the time to memorize she winged. Luckily she removed my photo off of her yahoo profile that nyte, but interestingly enough she stole my friend’s photo by pure coincidence and so on. What the fuck is running through these people’s heads these days??!! And why anyone would want to assume my identity I have no idea, I would sure as hell pick someone other than myself if I decided to be an idiot for a day. ๐Ÿ˜›

I would have to confess that the worst case of stalking though happened to me in my own hometown. She cut her hair and bleached it out like mine (although mine was actually platinum and not yellow *snicker), she told everyone that she was Vain Jayne from the She-Devils (my band), my photos from a shoot I had modeled for were hung by the photographer at the college art museum and at the library and she told people that was her, she bought a car the same color and as close a model as mine, she tried to steal my best friend, and she even moved into my old apartment!! It ended with a restraint order against her and fines. It was completely insane!!

Q: Has anything bad/scary ever happened during a ritual you were involved in?
A: Yes and yes. In one experience the guy setting the hooks for my suspension wasn’t very experienced and set them wrong. They could have ripped usually resulting in stitches. It was horribly painful and disappointing.

As far as scary goes I would have to say my most memorable moment was at a firewalk I attended. My best friend which had just recently been killed seemed to have paid me a visit that nyte. I broke down into tears in front of the whole group because I saw his shadow move along the building I was next to and come over me. Whenever anything of the supernatural happens around me I tend to become completely overwhelmed thus my fascination with the paranormal.

Q: What is your biggest fear in life?
A: To never be able to say I love myself.

Q: Are you predjudice against any particular race/group?
A: Rich white boys driving around in their chopped cop Chevy’s rappin about being from the streets. Cops/catholics/any form of authority/and I’m weary about wiccans all due to past experiences.

Q: What is your biggest turn on?
A: Flesh Pulls.

Q: What is your biggest turn off?
A: Slugs.

Q: How did you get the name Vain Jayne?
A: Vain – definition: having too much pride in ones looks.

My definition: I have been told numerous times over the years by religious fanatics that I am extremely vain because I choose to modify my body. I use the word to my advantage as a mockery of what has been said to me. I am in no way referring to my personal opinion of my outer exterior.

Jayne – definition: Victorious, origin- Sanskrit

My definition: The name came about as a mockery to religious fanatics who chose to look down upon me for my body modification.

Always hearing the word Vain, I adopted it. I include Jayne translated from Sanskrit to remind myself of how far I’ve come to be who I am. I am victorious over their binding accusations.

Q: Why did you choose to become an ordained minister?
A: I am a minister in the Church of Body Modification, a wonderful group of people whom have shown me support througout my spiritual endeavors. In 2001, I became determined to become a minister within the Church upon my best friend’s death. His death was sudden and tragic and when the time came for his last rytes I was the one who fulfilled his last wishes. I was and still am extremely honored to have been requested for such a demanding task. In July of 2002, as a minister of the Church, I performed my first last rytes by my grandmother’s side and was the one whom also performed her funeral services. In April of 2003, I was given the position of Minister Liaison. In that same month I began serving as a member of the Board.

I believe people should be taught to make their bodies a part of their ritual of spirituality. We are always taught that our bodies are only temporary, yet we are also told that our bodies are the temples of God. I have encountered many religious people whom have accused me of being “vain” for my modifications, I explain to them that I simply have chosen to decorate my temporary temple. I believe it is possible to experience spirituality through the manipulation of the body. I believe it is necessary to pursue enlightenment through our bodies as well as the mind, heart, and soul. I believe there is not enough emphasis placed on this issue within the typical “religious” teachings.

Science can never explain the real truth. The truth that we have begun to tap into, the truth that has existed before our existence was even thought possible, the rights of our ancestors carried on before us, and will remain to be beyond the end of our time carried on by our children. Our rituals are what we are, our connection with the higher powers that be, our souls are realeased into freedom and no man will ever begin to comprehend, only feel for himself.

This is who I have been all my life, I will always remain as so. The reflection of my soul dwells on the exterior of my being. Those who deny me only deny themselves and who they are so frightened to be. I hope to educate as well as promote tolerance and understanding within our society so that they too can open their eyes and their thoughts to understand us as modern primitives.

Q: Are you afraid of death?
A: Depends on my mood.

Q: What lessons have you learned in life so far?
A: Put yourself 1st, no one else will. You can’t be true to others until you are true to yourself. Sacrifice for gain. Forgive for youself, not because it’s expected of you. There is a fine line between love and hate. There is another existence beyond the flesh. Don’t waste your time on ingrates.

Q: Is there anything you would change about your childhood?

A: Yes. Out of all of the abuse and the rape, being disowned by my father when I was just a fetal existence, the “friendly” visits from a family member, the one thing I would change is when I trepaned myself in an accident when I was 11 years old.
(Trepantion is the act of creating a hole in the skull to enhance brain function creating a sense of enlightenment. A modification still practiced by tribes and some modified individuals today.)
From that moment on my world has never been the same. I take in too much which overloads my system which leads me to have Chronic Panic Disorder. It fucks your whole life. The anxiety cripples your life severly, and it’s not something that goes away despite a million pretty pills and pointless therapy. The only thing you can do is delve into meditation to calm it a bit. I would almost give anything to let it go.

Q: What are your musical influences?
A: Hole, Babes In Toyland, Unsane, PJ Harvey, L7, 7 Year Bitch, Marilyn Manson, NIN, the Prodigy, Ruby, Tool, Rob Zombie, Prick, George Michael, the Cramps, U2, Alice Cooper, Soundgarden. I don’t think you want me to keep going. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Q: What makes you really angry?
A: Liars. Unjust suffering.

Q: What makes you really happy?
A: Being able to make a positive difference in someone’s life.

Q: Do you think men & women are finally being treated equally or do we still have a double standard on certain issues?
A: Women bleed once a month, men have an uncontrolable lump in their pants I don’t foresee society moving beyond that point at this time. However, I am an equalist. We’re all souls past this flesh.

Q: What is your attraction to Living Dead Dolls…why do you collect them?
A: My entire life I have always despised dolls. My grandma always bought them for me but I’d end up throwing them in a corner never to be looked at again. It was the 1st tattoo convention I had ever gone to a couple years back that I saw the 1st cool doll in my life. It was the original handmade Sadie on display. They wanted $50.00 and there was no way in hell I was going to pay that much for a doll. Then about a year later when Series 2 was released I stumbled across them at Spencer’s and they were on clearance and it happened to be my b-day!! I adopted Schooltime Sadie and a month later I had already went back and collected Sininster Minister and Bad Habit.

Today I have a total of 23 dolls, one of which are a pair of conjoined twins. That is one memory I will always have, the day I got the twins in the mail I showed my grandma and she loved them!! lol!! She wasn’t your typical grandma I suppose.

In 2002 I got to meet up with the creators of the Dolls, Ed Long and Damien Glonek. I bought a few dolls and got some shit signed, it was fun for a minute.

Q: Upon your death, do you plan on being buried or cremated?
A: I originally wanted to be cremated for fear of being uprooted in my grave in a town flood of some sort 50 years from now. But since looking into it I discovered that your piercings can’t go into the incinerator. It’s a decision I’m still not quite sure of. One part of me says, “don’t be so attached to the physical”, the other way of looking at it is what if the world was burnt up and destroyed and aliens came to explore and my grave was the only one left?? They would discover all of the modification on my body and perhaps the history of man would be changed forever. lol!! Fuck, you never know.

Q: What are your thoughts on abortion?
A: I’m not completely comfortable stating that I am 100% pro-life. However I can state that I am against fetal abuse, meaning that abortion is all too often the blame for fetal death when we should educate the public that alcohol, drug abuse, or even physical harm to the mother can and will in fact scar that child for life. I personally believe that abortion should be remain an option for those unfortunate enough to conceive through rape or molestation, disease, or major life-threatening birth defects.

Q: Who inspired you most in life? Why?
A: It’s very hard to pick one, but I would say Courtney Love. Why? Because this woman is strong, independent, and knows what the fuck she wants, how she wants it, and when. She has walked through fires I don’t believe most people could survive only to keep living strong mostly due to her daughter. Yes, she’s made mistakes. Don’t we all??

Q: Would any of your old childhood friends recognize you the way you look today?

A: Absolutely not. I run into a lot of people I knew for years a long time ago and they never know who I am until I remind them, “Remember that little hippy gurl that hung out with the stoners in the parking lot at lunch??” That seems to jog their memory. ๐Ÿ™‚

Q: Do you have any insecurities that you would like to change?
A: Absolutely. Anyone that says they don’t are lying. I am extremely insecure about nearly everything. I guess a better question for me would have been, “What are you -not- insecure about?”.

Q: If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
A: The world.

Q: Have you met alot of people online that you consider good friends?
A: Not a lot, but yes. I have friends that I regularly talk to on the phone and play postcard tag with. Vorcos of Vorcos(dot)Com probably being the closest to me.

Q: What are your views of getting involved in a romantic relationship with someone from online….does it ever work?
A: Fun, exciting, deceitful, hopeless, crash and burn. I’m sure Maury Povich would disagree. lol

Q: What is your favorite tattoo on your body?…Your favorite mod?
A: Favorite tattoo: my sun portrait – it’s now worked into my sleeve. Favorite mod: Pulling off a quad pierced tongue. Future favorite mod: My subdermal and transdermal implants!! No, not boobies!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Q: What actor/actress do you find attractive?
A: Not so much attractive as charismatic: Courtney Love, Tim Currey, Bette Davis, Juliette Lewis, Gary Oldman, Anthony Hopkins, Christopher Walken, Samuel Jackson, Chris Tucker, Robert DeNiro, Vince Vaughn, John Travolta, Ed Norton.

Q: What makes you cry?
A: Being hurt by someone I love. Animal/child/elder abuse. My disorders.

Q: What makes you laugh hysterically?
A: Dave Chappel Show, South Park – especially Mr. Slave, Friday, Jackass, CKY, Wild Boys, BAM.

Q: What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
RVJ: That they are the opposite sex. ;P

Q: What are your thoughts on homosexual marriages?
A: Pro. It just goes to show you how shallow people are when they can’t look past the flesh of another to see the soul that dwells within.

Q: Do you enjoy porn?
RVJ: Depends. Professional porn, no. Conning some stupid bitch with a $2.00 bottle of wine and convincing her to have sex with a guy she didn’t know all being caught on video only to show our friends later for sheer amusement, yes!!

Q: Is your personality true to your zodiac sign?
A: I am an Aries, and I would have to say yes although I find that the Chinese chart in which case I fall under the dragon sign to be more reliable. According to the book I have dragons are supposed to have the ultimate relationship with people who happen to fall on the goat sign. Strangly enough my (now deceased) best friend and my husband both fall on that sign. Going on 6 years of marriage after meeting, getting engaged on the 2nd nyte I ever saw him, and married him 2 months later. Go figure.

Q: How do you handle stress?
A: Singing, guitar, drums, taking pills. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Q: Will VayneJayne.com be a permanent fixture of the www?
A: As long as I have a say so. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Q: Sum yourself up in one word.
A: Kakakapow!! I don’t know, Tank Girl popped in my mind at that moment. ;P

A final note from RVJ….
I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for what could be considered one of the best interviews I have ever been a part of.
– Rev. Vain

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